Breaking Even
by cheertennis12
Summary: Post-Finale, Benson vs. Rollaro. "Nick sighed upon realizing the damage was already done, and opened the door wider, enough for Olivia to catch a glimpse of a stunned looking Amanda frozen on the couch, wearing only an oversized tshirt that must have belonged to him. "Well, Liv... I guess this makes us even." Nick said quietly.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi again! Here's another little project I've been working on the last few days. I definitely have another chapter in mind, if not two or three, as long as you let me know that you want them ;) **

**also, peer pressure... Throwing around some ideas for continuing "A Lucky Kid" beyond just the two-shot. You win. **

* * *

_"You've reached the voicemail of Nick Amaro, please leave your name and number and I will call you back as soon as possible."_

Olivia's heart dropped as she listened to the recording on the other end of the line. He had changed his greeting, the title of "detective" now noticeably missing from his introduction.

"Hey Nick, it's Liv... Listen, I just wanted to check in with you, we haven't talked in awhile and I wanted to see how you're doing... call me back, okay? Please?"

Olivia hung up the phone and sighed, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu wash over her. No, she told herself. This is different. Nick wasn't Elliott, and she wasn't the same person she was three years ago either. Elliott left out of his own accord without a word to her. Sure, she felt like Nick was avoiding her as well, but it hadn't been his decision to go and she was sure he was slightly embarrassed to face not only his partner and friend but the commanding officer of the unit he has been banished from.

Olivia found herself in a conflicted position. She was required to sit in on the meeting when he was finally given his sentence, a demotion to traffic stops in Brooklyn. She couldn't forget the hurt she'd seen in his eyes as he avoided the glare of the IAB investigators and kept his gaze focused on her during that meeting, four weeks prior. She was his friend, his partner, but she couldn't protect him from the consequences of his own actions.

She hadn't heard from him since.

She looked out the window of what was still foreign to consider "her office". It was Cragen's office, and even semi-familiar as Murphy's office... but it certainly wasn't hers. She caught a glimpse of Fin and Rollins returning from a case and settling back at their desks.

"Hey guys" she said as she walked into the open room and leaned against Fin's desk, catching the attention of her ever-shrinking squad.

"Hey sergeant," Amanda piped back.

_"It's Liv. Call me Olivia, even... please, guys" _She wanted to beg, but she held her tongue. She knew she had their trust as a friend, but the transition to being respected as a superior had been anything but simple. Still, she missed her friends.

"Have either of you talked to Nick lately?

"Naw, I haven't. Is everything okay?" Fin questioned at the same Amanda simply answered "No."

"I'm not really sure," Olivia sighed, before transitioning the focus of the conversation to the case in front of them. She spread her paperwork across her old desk, continuing to discuss the case and simply enjoying the community of being in the squadroom instead of isolated in the office.

She looked up occasionally, catching glimpses of Amanda and Fin working hard at their desks. Now that Nick was out of the picture, the three of them were left to cover the same workload that had previously been divided up among twice as many people. They looked as exhausted as she felt. She glanced up at the clock. 4:21pm.

"Go home, guys." She sighed. "Take the rest of the night off."

"Seriously?" Amanda raised her eyebrows, trying to hide the excitement that was washing over her face.

"Yeah. There will be plenty of work left to do tomorrow, but I think we all need a break."

The two detectives smiled and thanked her as they packed up their belongings and made a beeline for the door.

Olivia shuffled her papers and piled them in her arms, dropping them haphazardly in the office. She picked up her phone and dialed again.

_"You've reached the voicemail of Nick Amaro..."_

She hung up, this time without leaving a message. _What's the point,_ she muttered. Instead, her fingers tapped out another familiar pattern.

"Hey, Captain" she said when she heard the click on the other line.

"Liv, I've told you a thousand times. You don't have to call me captain anymore"

"I know, it's just a habit." She chuckled. "How has Noah been for you guys today?"

"He's been great, as always. Eileen took him out for a walk, but they should be home anytime now. Are you on your way to pick him up?"

"I may be a while longer if that's okay. I need to make a stop on my way home."

"Go ahead, take all the time you need. We'll see you soon."

Captain Cragen and his new wife had become Olivia's saving grace. She had invited them over to hear about their trip and introduce them to Noah shortly after taking him into her care, and they had instantly bonded with the little boy. Their dinner conversation had been interrupted multiple times by phone calls to arrange the next day's childcare, and the couple had taken notice of her predicament.

"Olivia, honey, who you have helping you?" Eileen had asked as she reached out to gently touch her arm.

Olivia shrugged. "We're managing." The older woman turned her head to glance at her husband, and he offered a slight nod.

"We have a lot of free time on our hands now. Don doesn't have any kids, and my son and his family are in Seattle. We're missing out on seeing our grandkids grow up... we would love to spend time with Noah. What would you think about letting us watch him while you're working?"

"I couldn't ask you to do that." Olivia responded, settling into the typical I'm-okay, don't-need-help mantra of independence that her former captain was so accustomed to.

"You're not asking. We're offering" Cragen jumped into the conversation, and after much debate, Olivia reluctantly agreed to allow them a trial run. As simple as that, Eileen and Cragen had joyfully adopted the titles of "Grandma" and "Grandpa" to the child of the closest thing the former captain had ever had to a daughter.

As much as she wanted to rush home and snuggle on the couch with Noah, Olivia couldn't shake Nick from her mind. She was worried. Maria had taken Zara to the west coast, and Cynthia and Gil were visiting her family in in Puerto Rico for the summer. He had lost his family, his job, and his friends in rapid succession. His world had crumbled, and Olivia understood the feeling all too well.

But she was not going to let him turn into Elliott.

Olivia wrapped up some loose ends at the precinct before setting out to walk the ten blocks to Nick's apartment. She was determined to get through to him one way or another, and if he was going to play hardball, she would make it a game for two. When she finally arrived in front of his door, she gathered her thoughts, took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Hey Nick, someone's at the door!" She heard a voice call from inside.

She would recognize that southern drawl anywhere.

She knocked again, this time harder, taking her rising anger out on the innocent doorframe.

"Really, Nick?" She blurted out as soon as the door creaked open just enough for her shirtless partner to stick his head out in a clear attempt to block her view of inside the apartment. Nick sighed upon realizing the damage was already done, and opened the door wider, enough for Olivia to catch a glimpse of a stunned looking Amanda frozen on the couch, wearing only an oversized tshirt that must have belonged to him.

"Well, Liv... I guess this makes us even." Nick said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the encouragement on chapter one. Here's another quick chapter for you.**

**still want more? You have to let me know! I am thinking through plots for 2 more chapters... if you guys want them, that is :) **

**enjoy!**

* * *

"There's my big boy... hey baby" Olivia tiredly greeted her son as she lifted him out of Eileen's arms into her own.

Don Cragen recognized the look on the sergeant's face as soon as she walked in the door. "Is everything okay?" he asked her. Eileen picked up on the need for a heart-to-heart and excused herself back into the kitchen.

"Not really." She sighed as she hugged Noah tightly to her shoulder and rested her chin on the top of his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I just... How did you do this for so long?" She spoke softly. Captain Cragen had supervised the squad for fifteen years, and she felt she was floundering after barely fifteen minutes. This round had been much smoother than her previous run as acting commander of SVU, in part thanks to the Cragens being back in town and her former captain's bottomless guidance and encouragement. Still, she felt as if she couldn't find her stride when it came to management.

"Ah... The cases or the squad?"

"I can handle the cases. It's the squad that's the hard part." Olivia confessed.

"My advice? Handle the things that you have to, and stay out of the things that don't directly involve you or anyone's ability to do their jobs. You'll drive yourself crazy if you don't pick your battles wisely."

She nodded, her mind flashing back through all of the times over the last decade and a half when he extended her grace she didn't deserve. How many times he had subtly known she was barely staying afloat, yet the captain subtly acknowledged it, warned her to tread carefully, and allowed her to control her itself when his actual interjection would have meant serious consequences. Stefan Tanzic, her 'get out of jail free card' as he had put it. Her out-of-control PTSD that led to her holding a gun to a suspect's head. David Haden. She had made plenty of questionable decisions in her career, but his faith in her abilities as a detective had never wavered. "Thanks, Captain."

"Eileen cooked dinner... do you want to stay?"

"Thanks, but I think I just want to take Noah home."

"Okay, Liv" the captain said as he gave her a pat on the shoulder. "Get some rest. We'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Olivia balanced Noah on her hip as she pulled a bottle of wine out of the cabinet. She paused as she felt him start to squirm in her arms. She looked from him, to the bottle, and back to him before sighing and placing the unopened bottle back where it came from. Olivia knew she tended to use alcohol as an unhealthy coping mechanism, and that habit came to a frightening head in the days following Lewis. She had made a promise to both Noah and herself that she would be a better mother to him than her own mother had been to her, and although one glass of wine was unlikely to jeopardize that, she knew the little boy in her arms was much more important than any temporary crutch. She poured herself a glass of water with her reheated leftovers and fixed a bottle for Noah before settling onto the couch with him.

Her cuddle time was suddenly interrupted by her ringing cell phone. She glanced at the caller ID - Nick Amaro. Oh, now he decides he wants to talk to her?

_"Well Liv, I guess we're even"_

Nick's words from that evening echoed in her head as she tapped the decline button. We're even? What was this, a competition? And aside from that, the situation of reference was totally different. She had just caught two coworkers, two detectives sleeping together.

_Just like Nick had found her with Cassidy. _

But they were sneaking around and hooking up behind everyone's backs, intentionally hiding their relationship from their coworkers.

_Like Brian and her. _

Amanda went through hell with her sister and her gambling problems, and Nick had just lost his family and his job. They're both just a little lost right now.

_Wasn't that how things started with Brian?_

But Nick couldn't even tell his partner?!

_She hadn't told him about who she had been seeing. _

Until she had to walk in and catch him with the one person who she couldn't seem to trust?

_Nick had his fair share to say about Cassidy. _

Olivia realized that despite every fiber in her wanting to object, she couldn't claim the moral high ground. Maybe their situations were more similar than she wanted to see, but regardless, it didn't change her feelings toward what she had stumbled upon that evening. Nick couldn't even return her calls, but he had plenty of time to screw Amanda? And even worse, Amanda had lied to her face about her contact with Nick that afternoon.

Her phone buzzed again, this time an attempt in the form of a text message.

_"I'm sorry about tonight. We really need to talk. _

Olivia sighed and set her phone back down without tapping out a response. She knew she would have to address this soon, but the last person she wanted to talk to right now was Nick Amaro. Or Amanda, for that matter.

"You're the only man I want to deal with tonight" she said to Noah as she bounced him in her lap and kissed his nose, sending him into a fit of giggles and instantly dissolving the stress of the day away.


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright, boss. Two weeks of paperwork, all caught up." Fin announced proudly as he dropped the mountain of documentation onto Olivia's desk. She rolled her eyes and grinned as she tidied up the stack and pushed it aside. Before she had a chance to come up with a sassy comeback, Fin glanced behind him, then leaned over her desk and lowered his voice. "Liv, what's goin' on between you and Rollins?"

Olivia dropped her pen and crossed her arms. "What has she told you?"

"Nothin'," Fin shrugged, "but you keep giving her the death glare and she looks like she's about to shit her pants every time you walk out of your office." Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Look, she's my partner. I know she's been tryin' real hard with you lately. If there's something goin' on that I don't know about, then fine, but otherwise, can you cut the girl a break?"

"Tell her I need her DD5's too when she's done."

Olivia sighed as Fin walked back into the general area, taking in the sight of him returning to his partner and relaying her request through the open blinds in her office. It had been three days since she had stumbled upon the discovery she certainly could have done without, and still the thought of Nick with Amanda made her seethe. Dodging Nick's attempts at contact was rather easy with him assigned to a different unit for the time being, but having to associate with Amanda every day was not exactly an enjoyable ordeal.

Oh well. Screw professionalism.

* * *

"I'm done with these now..." Amanda Rollins softly knocked on the doorframe a short time later and waited at the entrance.

"Mmhmm," Olivia responded, barely looking up from her desk.

"Um... sergeant? About the other night?" Amanda timidly approached her superior and laid the stack of files in front of her. Olivia looked up and glared at her.

"Rollins, I didn't think it was possible for me to trust you less than I already did, but once again, you've done it. Murphy coming here might have saved your ass temporarily, but it's my call now, and you've never been worth the trouble you cause. If we weren't this short staffed, you would have been out of here a long time ago. We're done here." Olivia cut her off and fired back in a tone so icy she half expected her office to turn into a scene from that damn movie the kids next door wouldn't stop blaring.

Amanda looked at her, stunned. She offered a tiny nod before quickly turning and all but fleeing through the doorway, determined to make it out of the office before the tears spilled over.

* * *

"It's not a big deal." Olivia shook her head as she picked up Noah and slung his diaper bag over her shoulder.

"Liv, you can talk about it, you know. I did the job for 18 years. Chances it's nothing new."

"Sure... " Olivia grumbled as Cragen nodded a silent invitation to try her luck. "Okay, then what do you do when two of your detectives are sleeping together?" she sassed. She had always been close to Cragen, but his retirement had given her freedom in their mentorship that she had never had when he was her supervisor.

Cragen paused, attempting to stifle the knowing grin that threatened across his face. "Like you and Cassidy, when you were a rookie detective?"

The only thing that dropped further than Olivia's jaw was her stomach. "You knew about that?!"

"Of course. You forget that you work around a bunch of detectives?"

"But you never said anything?" Olivia was confused.

The former captain shrugged "I didn't need to."

"But it's not allowed..."

"You've never been one to care much for rules," He smiled at her. "I should have bought stock in Aspirin for all the headaches you've given me over the years. Now you're seeing it all from the other side." Olivia shifted, obviously growing uncomfortable. "Sorry, Liv. I'm not trying to make this about you. I wouldn't have left you in charge if I didn't think you were capable... I know you're upset, but is that coming as a commanding officer who needs to step in, or as a friend who's hurt that they didn't tell you?Just remember, if you make it a big deal, it will be a big deal."

"Thanks Captain. We'll see you Monday unless I get a weekend call." Olivia said as she picked up Noah and moved toward the door.

"And remember that Nick isn't technically one of your detectives right now." He called to her as she and her son walked out.

* * *

**This is a little short, but it became a good breaking point and it's been awhile so I wanted to give you guys a little something! Are you still interested in a Chapter 4? Olivia has a change of heart and a heart-to-heart with Amanda?**


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all, I am incredibly overwhelmed by the feedback on my last chapter. You guys are great! It's all the comments that motivated me to get this done so quickly :) **

**Just to clarify, I don't hate Rollins, and I completely know Olivia was ridiculous and terrible to her in the last chapter... All part of the story :) **

* * *

_**"**__I know you're upset, but is that coming as a commanding officer who needs to step in, or as a friend who's hurt that they didn't tell you?"_

Olivia laid in bed late on Sunday night, her former captain's words swirling in her head as she mentally prepared to face her squad and her mess the next day. She knew she had been unnecessarily harsh with Amanda, not to mention she had been completely ignoring Nick. And probably confused the hell out of Fin too, just to throw that into the isolation she felt. She sighed and picked up her phone, opening an unanswered text sent nearly a week prior.

_"I'm sorry about tonight. We really need to talk."_

She held the phone in her hands, typing and erasing multiple times before finally composing a response she felt acceptable.

_"Yeah. We do." _

She held her breath and hit the send button.

* * *

Olivia absently tapped her pen on her desk, watching her detectives through the window and collecting her thoughts. She had spent the weekend eaten up with guilt over her conversation with Amanda the Friday before, coming to fully recognize the hypocrisy in what she had said.

She knew what she needed to do, and it was now or never.

"Rollins," Olivia approached the desks where Amanda and Fin were busy combing through their files, "Come with me."

Amanda looked up with terror in her eyes as Olivia motioned towards the exit doors. Fin shot the sergeant a questioning look and she nodded at him, a silent reassurance that he had nothing to worry about and wasn't about to be in the market for a new partner.

"Where are we going?" Amanda asked nervously as they boarded the elevator.

"I don't care." Olivia shrugged. "Let's just get out of here. Do you want to get some coffee?"

"Um... Okay?" Amanda answered, still unsure of her sergeant's intentions with this impromptu field trip.

The pair walked down the street in silence, the tension in between them incredibly tangible. Olivia ordered two lattes from the street car before leading them across the street to sit on the courthouse steps.

"Look... Amanda." Olivia turned to face her, swallowing both her pride and the nervous lump in her throat. "I have a couple things to address as your sergeant, but then I need to talk to you as just Olivia. I thought that might be easier to do out here than in my office."

Amanda nodded, suddenly finding the cracks in the sidewalk an especially fascinating distraction from the uncomfortable situation at hand.

"I can't ignore the fact that you lied to me." Olivia started, fighting to keep her voice calm and gentle. "I know that you have been trying hard to earn back my trust, but this is going to make it hard for awhile... and if you're going to stay at SVU, I need to know that it won't happen again."

Amanda nodded. "It won't." She said, her voice still small and timid.

"Okay. And Amanda, I do want you to stay." Olivia flashed a small smile, a tiny reassurance that she would make every effort to believe her. "Now, I don't know how long this... thing between you and Nick has been going on..." Olivia held up a hand when Amanda opened her mouth to answer "But it's probably best that I don't. Right now, I don't know of anything that happened when you two were working together that could be seen as a conflict of interest, but if I did, then I may be obligated to report it."

"Thank you, sergeant" Amanda murmured, still avoiding eye contact.

"And, if this is more than just a one time thing and Nick does come back to SVU, then I expect you both to be forthcoming, because we will have to set some ground rules about the two of you working together. Is that clear?"

Amanda again nodded despondently.

Olivia wasn't sure why, but she suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of compassion for Amanda. As tough of a year as she had gone through, she knew Amanda hadn't had it easy either, and the tension between them reached further than just the wedge that had been driven in the last week. Between the complicated family situations, the downward spirals, and the hidden relationships, the two females of SVU shared more common ground than she had ever cared to admit.

"Okay." Olivia looked over and smiled at the younger detective who was still fiercely avoiding eye contact. "Amanda, I owe you an apology for what I said to you on Friday. I let my personal feelings impair my judgement as your CO, and I should not have been as hard on you as I was."

Amanda finally looked up, shock written all over her face. The Great Olivia Benson admitting she did something wrong?

"The truth is..." Olivia sighed, unable to believe that she was about to bare her soul to Rollins, of all people. But given the situation and the hypocrisy she had already displayed, she felt a little bit of transparency was warranted. "I've done it too. Me and Cassidy, of all people, had a... moment when we were both working SVU fifteen years ago. And it turns out, Cragen knew about it the whole time." She ran her fingers through her hair, slightly embarrassed by the admission she was still trying to wrap her mind around. "And I'm sure Nick told you this, but when I started seeing Brian again, he caught me at his apartment one night before we disclosed."

"He didn't," Amanda admitted, stunned by the admission of her sergeant.

"Really?" Olivia asked, hardly believing what she was hearing. Nick never opened his mouth about that humiliating night he found her at Brian's apartment without pants on?

Amanda nodded, appearing to finally relax for the first time. "Sergeant-"

"I'm just Olivia right now," The sergeant interrupted with a smile.

"I've said some pretty terrible things to you too..." Amanda cringed as she remembered back to the mess she got in with Nate and Lena, snapping at a post-Lewis Olivia about 'not needing to pay someone to listen to her problems' when she suggested help.

"Do you think we can just put this whole year behind us?" Olivia asked.

"That sounds like a good idea." Ananda grinned.

Olivia laid her head back against the wall and let out a sigh. "Now I have to talk to Nick..."

* * *

**Okay, has Olivia redeemed herself? Are you happier now? Chapter 5 - Olivia and Nick?**


	5. Chapter 5

"Liv, forgive me for saying this, but do you really want to lose another partner?" Cragen probed, placing a hand on her shoulder and locking eyes with her as he lowered his voice. "I know what happened with Elliott was anything but your fault, but this doesn't have to happen with Nick.

Olivia appreciated his voice of reason in her life, and was forever indebted to the couple for the role they had assumed in Noah's, but she could really do without the Godfather routine every evening when she came to pick up her son.

She had tried to contact Nick. Calls, messages and texts had all gone unanswered in his end. Aside from the brief role reversal the night Olivia had found him with Rollins, this had settled as the new normal. She tried, he balked. Although Olivia had learned her lesson about unannounced drop-ins, she knew Amanda was working late at the precinct that night, so the possibility of another unanticipated run-in was unlikely.

_"You've reached the voicemail of Nick Amaro..." _

She turned the car around and decided to take her chances.

* * *

"Oooh-li-vi-aaaa!" Nick slurred as he opened the door.

"Nick." She sighed, realizing her knack for impeccably bad timing.

"You looking for Rollins? She's not here." He said with a smirk. "You need to come in and see for yourself?"

Nick opened the door wider and retreated into the apartment. Olivia followed him inside against her better judgement, clutching a sleepy Noah tightly to her shoulder.

"Nick, how much have you had to drink tonight?" She asked warily, eyeballing the assortment of empty bottles on the counter.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Saint Benson" The sarcasm dripped from Nick's words.

"I came here because I wanted to talk to you, but I can see that now isn't a good time..."

"A good time for what? You want to talk about how you, in your infinite CO wisdom, transferred me out of SVU? To doing damn traffic stops? In Brooklyn?"

"Nick, that's not-" Olivia tried to explain, but Nick cut her off before she could finish adding the 'what happened' to complete her thought.

"Oh, so this is still about me and Rollins, huh?" Nick snapped back, displaying the classic Cuban fire that had often served him well at SVU but ultimately been his downfall in law enforcement. Regardless, she hated being on the receiving end of it. "So, you can screw whoever you want, but then you can come here and claim the moral high ground with me? How about I just go find a prostitute? You seem to have no problem with that."

"Wow..." Olivia mouthed, feeling the sting of his words and stepping back as if he had physically raised a hand and slapped her across the face. "Okay, Nick." She regained her composure. "Noah and I are going to go now. We will finish this later." Olivia answered calmly. She realized any attempt to reason with an angry and misinformed and inebriated Nick Amaro was futile at best.

"Are you just going to walk away?" Nick raised his voice. He reached out to grab her free arm, not hard enough to hurt her but enough to catch her attention.

Olivia froze. Although the flashbacks and nightmares had eased up in frequency and intensity, Lewis's mark on her was still subtly evident in the day to day. The grip on her arm was enough to send her mind spiraling back to those four days last summer. She knew Nick, or a least a sober Nick, would never intentionally do anything to trigger her, so she fought herself to let it slide.

"Yes," she said firmly, pulling her arm out of Nick's grip and willing her mind back to the present, "because I am not going to do this in front of my son."

* * *

After putting Noah to bed, Olivia settled on the couch with her cell phone in hand. She tapped out a familiar number and swallowed every ounce of pride she had left as she listened to the ringing on the other again.

"Hey... I, um... I need your help."

* * *

**Okay, don't hate me! I tried to pull from what I remember of "Drunk Nick" from the S13 Finale/S14 premiere. **

**So, who do you think Olivia called? Who would you want her to call? My mind still isn't totally made up so I am open to popular opinion :)**

**as always, I loooooove reviews! Please leave me your thoughts on this chapter! it always makes me more motivated to write a new chapter! You guys want chapter 6?!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey... I, um... I need your help." Olivia asked, swallowing every ounce of pride she had left and turning to the one person she thought might be a portal to reconciliation with Nick.

"Sure, sergeant. What can I do?" Amanda asked, eagerly anticipating an assignment that could win her back into her supervisor's good graces.

"Olivia." She corrected, an effort to clearly define that this was a personal request and not a work related matter. "I wanted to ask you about how Nick is doing. Does he ever talk to you?"

Amanda sighed. "He used to... back before all of this happened. Now, we just-"

"Okay, you don't need to remind me. I got a pretty good idea of that the other night." Although Olivia was making a thorough effort to be supportive of whatever-it-was between her detective and former partner, the last thing she needed was the mental image of Amanda screwing her partner.

"Sorry," the blonde answered sheepishly.

"I'm worried about him, Amanda." Olivia quickly moved on. "He won't answer any of my calls. I went over there after work tonight and... he's just not himself, and I don't really know what to do." She confessed.

"He's been a different person since he left SVU," Amanda chimed in quietly, "But he won't talk about it with me. I wish I could help you, Liv. I would if I could. I know he cares about you, for what it's worth."

Olivia sighed. "Thanks anyways."

"And um, Liv? I did talk to him this weekend... about what happened in your office on Friday. I just went to him as a friend, asked him how to handle things with you... I'm really sorry, I just thought you should know, I wouldn't have if I'd..."

Olivia let out a breath she hadn't felt herself holding. "Amanda, it's okay." Truthfully, she was livid, but in the interest of maintaining a copacetic relationship with Rollins, she choked out a white lie and decided to roll with the punches. Regardless, knowing Nick's deeper awareness helped to explain some of his earlier actions.

"Maybe you should call Munch? Last I heard, he and Nick still talked."

* * *

"Motherhood looks good on you, Liv." Munch smiled, holding her at arms length.

Olivia laughed, "Is that a nice way of telling me I look like hell?"

"Never."

Sergeant Benson and her predecessor ordered lunch and caught each other up on their recent happenings, which mostly consisted of Olivia flipping through pictures of Noah. John Munch looked on eagerly, but paying less and less attention to the photos on the screen and more to the way his friend's face lit up when she talked about her son. He was glad to finally see hope back in her eyes.

"Do you ever talk to Nick?" Olivia finally broached the subject that had brought her to this meeting.

"Of course I do. I posted his bail, do you really think I'm going to let the kid out of my sight until I get all of my money back?"

Olivia grinned at his comment, trying to decide the appropriate amount of information to reveal to her partner's mentor in her next statement. "Do you, uh, remember that night that you and Nick came to see Cassidy-"

"-and we found you sans pants?" Munch chuckled.

"Yeah, thanks for that reminder." Olivia's cheeks flushed and she moved on quickly, "Well, the other night I went to Nick's because he wasn't returning my calls..."

"Ah, say no more. The lovebirds were at it?"

"You knew too?!" Olivia exclaimed. Damn it. Cragen had known who without her specifying names, and now Munch? Was she really that oblivious?

"Rollins called me when Nick was in jail. I had my suspicions." Munch replied. "_Good work, kid_" he added under his breath with a sly smile.

Olivia sighed. "Either way, Nick won't talk to me. I don't know if it's that, or if it's because he's upset about leaving SVU and thinks it was my call... I don't know, Munch. Nick's just not himself and I'm worried about him. He listens to you."

"I'll make you a deal. You promise to let me teach your kid everything he needs to know about what really happened to JFK and I'll see what I can do with Nick."

Olivia laughed and clapped him on the shoulder, "John, if you come through, I will even read it to him as a bedtime story."

* * *

**Okay, you guys were right. She called Amanda AND Munch :) coming up next, do you want to read what Munch has to say to Nick?**

**and remember, reviews will get you a chapter 7!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I had such a hard time writing this chapter! I have tried to keep everyone as in character as possible, just remember that Nick is definitely NOT himself right now, and we saw Amanda acting pretty timid towards Liv at the end of Gambler's Fallacy. And to the guest reviewer who asked if my end game was for Nick and Liv to hook up... definitely NOT my intention at this point!**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

"Hey numb nuts, did you forget how to answer a phone?" John Munch smarted off as he finally saw Nick Amaro leaving the 72nd precinct, his home for the time being, after a shift of traffic patrol.

"Munch?" Nick said in near disbelief, raising his eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, kid. Would have just stopped by your apartment, but I hear that hasn't been very lucky."

"Oh, don't tell me you've been talking to Olivia." Nick rolled his eyes and threw up his defenses.

"Hey, calm down. I'm in your corner here, but I hear you've been having some trouble." Munch started.

"Yeah okay. Good to see you too." Nick said as he tried to push past his mentor. Munch stepped in to block his escape route.

"Amaro. You're a detective-"

"No I'm not." Nick interjected. "I'm a damn uni. I do traffic stops." He let out a bitter chuckle.

"You're a detective. It's who you are. And if you get your head together, this will all be temporary."

"Munch, what does it even matter anymore. I've lost Maria... Zara... my job, my reputation.." Nick's demeanor started to soften. He rested his head in his hands. "What do I have left?"

"You haven't lost your squad." Munch said matter-of factly.

Nick rolled his eyes. "I'm exiled to the seven-two. You're gone. Cragen is gone, Fin and I never talked much to begin with. There's Rollins but that's... complicated."

Munch wiggled his eyebrows. "Ah, so my suspicious were correct. Nice work there."

"Yeah, she's... We're... But Maria..." Nick searched for the words to explain the battle he was facing between the desire to take the relationship deeper with Amanda and still feeling it to be a betrayal of his soon to be ex-wife.

"You've got to let her go, man. I told you before, if anyone knows when a marriage is over it's John Munch. Take it from a man with four alimony payments. But Rollins, don't hurt her. Figure out what you want."

"I like her." Nick confessed, hiding a lovestruck smile. "Its just been so long since I've been with someone other than Maria, it feels strange."

"She fought hard for you, Nick." Munch reminded him, reminiscing to just a few weeks before when Amanda Rollins had frantically contacted him, notifying him of Nick's incarceration.

"Yeah, unlike some people." Nick scoffed, his attitude turning on a dime.

"You talking about Liv?" the special investigator probed gently, holding fast to the promise he had made with Olivia to start the relational mending.

"Yeah! She just hung me out to dry with IAB. She could have fought to keep me at SVU. I thought she was supposed to have my back."

"Nick. Take responsibility, man." Munch placed a hand on Nick's shoulder. "You're here because of you, not Olivia, not Maria, not even Simon Wilkes. Liv is your friend, but she was also your CO at the time."

"What, so then that gives her the right to just show up at my apartment and act like she's got some moral high ground when she finds Amanda there? And then to rip apart my-... Rollins for it?" Nick's voice escalated.

Munch chose his words carefully. "Do you remember how you felt when you and I found out Olivia had been seeing Cassidy?"

"Yeah, I was pissed! Sure, I didn't like the guy, but she was my partner! She could have told me... She should have trusted me!" Nick said emphatically.

Munch locked eyes with Nick and raised his eyebrows, silently trying to communicate his point to the younger officer. He watched the thought process play out on his face before finally finding it fit to reopen his mouth.

"You may not have liked seeing her with Cassidy, but you learned to respect her choice because he made her happy. If Amanda makes you happy, then Liv will understand."

Nick crossed his arms and stared at the man in front of him.

"She's your partner, Detective Amaro. She's had your back the whole time."

* * *

**yes? No? Questions, comments, concerns? More?**


	8. Chapter 8

Three weeks passed without a word from Nick. Long enough to feel like a new, melancholy normal. She tried not to think about it much. She went to work, managed her squad, and tried hard not to pay attention to the Nick-shaped hole that lingered in the precinct. Fin and Amanda could feel it too, she knew that much without asking. Occasionally, Olivia would think about asking Amanda for an update, but talk herself out of it just in time. If there was nothing more she could do to repair her relationship with Nick, she feared even knowing about his presumed downward spiral.

"Anything from Nick?" Don Cragen asked her on occasion, including that morning as she had dropped Noah off. She would always give him the same sad answer of no. He understood what it was like for her to lose a partner, what she had gone through after losing Elliott. Her relationship with Nick was different. He was almost like the kid brother she had idealized Simon would become.

Olivia allowed herself to ponder this current predicament as she swatted her coffee stirrer around her coffee. If she was a "tall" beverage drinker before, motherhood had certainly transformed her into a "venti" kind of girl. She dug her cell phone out of her purse just in time to see an incoming call pop up on the screen. She smiled as she answered the phone, ready to hear of what new feat her son had accomplished that day. Eileen and Don were great about texting her pictures and videos throughout her workday. It made her feel like she wasn't missing out on quite as much of her son's little life.

"Hey Eileen!"

"Olivia." The sergeant could tell something was wrong in just those four frantic syllables.

"What's wrong?" She immediately jumped into mommy mode, listening to the background noise for her son's cries

"Noah fell off the couch and hit his head on the coffee table. He cried a lot, but he seemed okay at first. But now he isn't acting like himself. He's really lethargic. Don and I are on the way to the hospital with him. I'm so sorry." Eileen was nearly hysterical.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Call me if you know anything before I get there. Take care of him, Eileen." Olivia's voice shook, but she tried desperately to keep it together, knowing that bumps and bruises were bound to happen and it wasn't the Cragen's fault.

She looked out the window as she rushed to gather her things. She was relieved to see that Amanda and Fin had just returned from a case so she could give them a quick report before heading out.

The two detectives stood by their desks, chatting away with a uniformed officer. She had seen the scene from her office and thought it slightly strange, as detectives and uni's rarely intermingled, and the cohesiveness of the precinct was something she aimed to work on during her tenure as CO. She shut the office door and locked it behind her, quickly walking over to her detectives to fill them on Noah's condition and their assigned tasks for the rest of the day. As she approached, she realized the man they were laughing with looked awfully familiar.

Nick?

She barely recognized him in uniform. She had to admit, he looked pretty good in his blues. Olivia quickly chided herself for even allowing her mind to wander to that edge, especially when her son was injured. Any other time, she would be thrilled to see Nick in the precinct. But this, this was some pretty awful timing.

"Hey, Liv?" Nick greeted her nervously. "Can we talk?"

"I've gotta go... Noah's hurt... I've got to get to the hospital." She made the rushed announcement to the three as she ran off. Nick's presence threw her off, as she quickly realized she had left Fin and Amanda with no instruction. Oh well. They're smart, they'll figure it out.

"Olivia!" Nick called after her.

She spun around and glared at him. "Not. Now."

"I was just going to tell you that I hope Noah is okay."

* * *

**I know this is super short, but I have made you all wait long enough and this was a good breaking point. We are wrapping up! Next chapter or the one after that will be the end. **

**If you've enjoyed this and want some more Liv/Noah action, I'd love it if you would check out my newest story "Remission"**

**Enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9

Olivia ran the backs of her fingers lightly over the impressive goose egg that had formed on Noah's forehead as she cradled him in her arms. She had never been much of a singer, but the pitiful look in the baby's sleepy eyes before he has finally closed them had made her want to sing him every lullaby in the book.

That afternoon had been filled with a flurry of doctors and scans and the stale stench of an inner city Emergency Department. Don and Eileen had waited with her for hours, apologizing profusely for the accident, which she knew was just that: an accident. They didn't leave her side until she was given the "all clear" to take Noah home, the final diagnosis being a bump on the head and possibly a mild concussion. It was likely the first of many bumps and bruises for an active and growing little boy. Barring unforeseen circumstances, he would be just fine, with the only lingering effects from this ordeal being to his mother's nerves.

_"Just keep a good eye on him the next day or two."_ The doctor had cautioned. Olivia had taken his statement seriously, having called her supervisors from the ER to inform them she would be taking the next day off. Of course she trusted the Cragens to take just as good care of him as she would, but she was his mommy. For the time being, at least.

Noah had long been passed out in her arms, but she was reluctant to put him back in his crib. She didn't want the separation. She wanted to keep him in her sight, in her arms, as if nothing could ever touch the two of them there. Instead, she leaned against the arm of the couch with her legs curled under her and gazed at his little face, watching his rhythmic inhale and exhale, and softly stroking his full head of chestnut hair.

To those who didn't know better, he could easily pass for her own flesh and blood.

She reached over to the end table and picked up her glass of wine, bringing it to her lips and taking a large gulp of the red liquid. She felt the comforting burn as it easily slid down her throat. Screw this no-alcohol phase. Tonight, she needed this to relax. To calm her down enough to be a sane mother. It was all about moderation.

Her cell phone began vibrating loudly against the coffee table and she reflexively grabbed it and answered without even a glance at the caller ID. The only people who would be calling her this late would be her squad, and it must be important for them to involve her as they knew the events of that afternoon and both Fin and Amanda had already checked in for updates on Noah's condition earlier in the night.

"Benson." She spoke in a hushed tone so as not to disturb the sleeping child snuggled against her.

"Hey Liv." A familiar voice came through the speaker.

_Nick_? What in the world was he doing calling her at this hour?

"I, uh. Sorry to call you so late. But I figured you weren't going be sleeping much tonight. How's Noah?" He answered her query before she even had a chance to vocalize it.

"He's okay. He might have a concussion but the doctors don't think there will be any permanent damage."

"Zara took a few tumbles as a baby too. Scared me half to death. One night, she must have been five or six months old, I set her down on the bed and turned my back for a second. Next thing I know she's on the floor." He chuckled. "Oh, I thought Maria was going to _kill_ me."

What was she supposed to say to that? Something about how his mother must have dropped him on his head as a child and that's what made him such a piece of work came to mind, but given the circumstances, she didn't want gamble with humor.

"You're a good mom, Liv." He mused before she had a chance to decide on a satisfactory response to his previous story.

"Thanks." She replied through pursed lips. Silently, she questioned what factors must have the gone into his consideration of her to be a 'good mother'. He hadn't been there. He didn't accept the invitation to her last dinner party, this one being held at a much earlier hour and with the sole purpose of introducing her squad to her foster son. He had never seen them interact the way the rest of her friends had. She had him nestled against her chest the night an inebriated Nick had exploded on her in the doorway of his apartment, but that hardly counted as a proper introduction. The only time Nick had actually interacted with Noah was when he was first given the title of Baby Boy Doe. That felt like eons ago with everything that had transpired since.

They had first met the then-nameless child soon after the shooting, right after Nick had finally vacated his perch on the couch where she now sat. It had been nice having him around, a comfort to have the company of another warm body, someone to make her feel safe in the days after the trial while Brian was pulling late nights and undercover stints to earn his keep at IAB. It was in those weeks that she first saw a change in Nick. She had chalked it up to worry about the trial and his future with NYPD, and to the ongoing separation from his family. She expected it to get better as time passed, but now, nearly six months and yet another IAB investigation later, he had never truly reclaimed the same 'Nick'.

"Are you holding up okay?" Nick asked sincerely.

"Probably worse off than he is." She answered with the same sincerity. "I would say he's currently sleeping like a baby, which is better than I can say for myself, but I have learned over the last few weeks that babies don't exactly 'sleep like babies'."

"I hear ya. Zara didn't sleep through the night until she was almost two."

Olivia groaned. "Don't tell me that."

An awkward silence fell though the speakers.

"Listen. Uh. Liv. I know I've been a dick to you and today was bad timing but I did come to see you this afternoon, not Fin and Amanda. I don't know, the last few weeks have just been..."

"I know." She picked up where he trailed off. "Um... I'm staying home with Noah tomorrow. Do you want to stop by and you can officially meet him and we can do what we need to do?"

Nick graciously agreed and the pair solidified plans for the next afternoon. Truthfully, Olivia felt a little uneasy about bringing him around Noah when their interactions were still so unpredictable, but she would always trust the man she still thought of as her partner with her life.

_And right now, Noah was her life._


	10. Chapter 10

Promptly at 1pm the next afternoon, Nick Amaro rapped on the door to Olivia's apartment. She had chosen the time intentionally, as it would give Nick a brief introduction to Noah, but would also afford time for uninterrupted adult discussion during his afternoon nap. Olivia balanced Noah on her hip and opened the door to find Nick standing in front of her with a stuffed monkey in one arm, and a blank manila envelope tucked under the other. She stepped aside to invite him in, and closed the door behind him.

Nick bent down and addressed Noah first. Olivia was thankful for that, as any eloquent speech she had contrived in the time since they had planned this meeting had fled her mind now that he was standing in front of her. Nick ran his thumb along the sole of the boy's foot, causing him to explode in a fit of giggles.

"Is this okay?" Nick looked to Olivia for permission to hand the new toy over to Noah. Olivia nodded, a small smile crossing her face as she felt the tension in the room dissipate.

"Look Noah… Nick brought you a monkey." Olivia cooed to the baby as he gripped the soft toy in his chubby arms. She turned her attention back to Nick. "You didn't have to bring him anything, you know. As you can see, he has more than enough toys." She gestured to the heap of blocks and playmats and stuffed animals strewn across the living room.

"I know. But uh… he and I kind of got off to the wrong start last time, so consider this my apology… to both of you. And Munch gave this to me when he stopped by the seven-two, asked me to bring it to you. He said you would know what it was. " He dropped the envelope he was carrying onto the coffee table

"Can I?" Nick asked, holding out his arms. Olivia handed the child over and he immediately started to squawk. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she took immediate action to settle him back in her arms. He was in an especially clingy stage the past two weeks, and secretly, Olivia loved being the only person her foster son would take to. It made her feel like a real parent.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. "It's almost his naptime. I'm going to go ahead and put him down, but uh, give me a few minutes and make yourself at home." Olivia offered as she took Noah into the bedroom they shared and closed the door behind her.

While alone in the living room, Nick took the time to evaluate his surroundings. He took notice of the baby toys littering the living room, finding it strangely reminiscent of Zara's infancy. He picked up a couple stray blocks and tossed them into the basket where they appeared to belong. The electrical outlets were now covered with plugs and the kitchen cabinets were now fastened shut with childproof locks. He smiled as he considered the stark contrast between the apartment's current state and the pristine condition she kept it in when she and Cassidy had cohabited here.

He wandered towards the bookshelf and stood in front of it, scanning the array of books and albums and photos. The breakable items were now crowded onto the top shelves. Frames that had once held photos of her and Cassidy now were filled with pictures of Noah. He picked one up to take a closer look.

The photo looked fairly recent. Olivia sat cross-legged on a blanket in Central Park with Noah on her lap. Both of their grins were a mile wide. She looked happier than he ever remembered.

"Do you want anything to drink?" The sound of Olivia's voice made him jump as she emerged from the bedroom.

"Well, I might need some vodka to get through this conversation." He quickly set the frame down and tried to make a joke to cover up his embarrassment over being caught studying Olivia's belongings so intently.

Olivia's face momentarily froze, and Nick immediately realized the significance of what he had said. He knew that Lewis had used vodka to incapacitate her during those four days he held her captive, and that she had developed a strong aversion to the beverage in the time since.

He thought back to a time last summer, before she had returned to work when he had convinced her to meet the squad for drinks. It was the first time any of them had seen her since that afternoon she had refused to look at them as she fled the squadroom with Brian. They had tried their hardest to make her feel comfortable, but when Amanda had unwittingly ordered a vodka on the rocks, it sent Olivia into a heartbreaking sequence of obvious flashbacks and she had left with Cassidy soon after.

"Liv, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—" He scrambled to rectify the situation. She forced a smile and reassured him that it was okay. He insisted that water was just fine, so she fixed two glasses, handed one to him, and led him into the living room.

Olivia sat on the couch with her legs curled under her while Nick took a seat in the chair across from her. Neither one know where to go from here, and the tension now increased tenfold with the distraction of Noah removed from the equation.

"So, uh. How have you been?" Olivia finally broke the silence, but continued to avoid eye contact, choosing instead to stare down and swirl the liquid in her glass. Nick mirrored her stance.

"Well, aside from my family being three thousand miles away, losing my shield, and being exiled to the seven-two, I'm doing pretty great." Nick replied with a sarcastic laugh.

"Nick…" Olivia leaned forward and placed a hand innocently on his knee. "I know you're upset. But _please_ believe me when I say that it was not my decision to transfer you. You got yourself in some serious trouble, and sometimes…. sometimes there are things that even I can't fix, no matter how badly I want to."

"I know this isn't your fault. I guess… it's just been easier to be pissed at you than to take responsibility." Nick admitted, running his fingers through his hair.

"You made a mistake. We all have." Olivia emphasized, thinking back through her career at SVU and all the trouble she had managed to get herself into and out of for the past fifteen years. In the forefront of her mind was the last hour she spent with Lewis, how she chose rough him up while he was already incapacitated instead of immediately calling for backup. If anything qualified as a mistake, that decision did.

"Yeah, well I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes." Nick admitted dismally.

"Are you talking about the shooting? Nick, you can't keep beating yourself up over that. Anyone in your position would have done exactly what you did."

"But it wasn't just anyone. It was _me_. I shot and paralyzed an unarmed teenage boy. And I got away with it? How am I supposed to put that behind me?" Olivia fumbled for the words to reply, but came up empty. "And then, I lose it on perp and I almost kill him right in broad daylight? Have I turned into one of the monsters that we've devoted our whole lives to fighting?"

* * *

**I got to this point and realized this chapter was going to be about twice as long as the rest of the ones in this story, so I decided to divide the final chapter into two sections. Now you all get a nice little...**

**TO BE CONTINUED :)**

**Please review! **


	11. Chapter 11

_"Have I turned into one of the monsters that we've devoted our whole lives to fighting?" _

"You're not a monster, Nick. You'll never be; You're one of the good guys. Your heart was in the right place even if you did lose perspective for awhile."

"My heart was in the right place? That's supposed to make everything okay?" He spat. Olivia began to shudder, seeing the anger begin to rise up in her partner. This time she knew it wasn't directed towards her, and it broke her heart to finally see beyond Nick's tough exterior into the overwhelming guilt he had been carrying.

"No." Olivia sadly admitted shook her head. "But if you keep thinking like that, you'll never sleep at night." Memories of scattered cases throughout the years began to flood her mind. The time she got inappropriately involved with the neglected child of a celebrity who she saw too much of herself in. Pushing Viva and Luisa Nunez to flee the beach house, to have her way with Lewis but also to protect them as innocent bystanders. _Gitano_

"Who says I deserve to?" Nick muttered.

"Nick." Olivia said sharply. "Stop it. I'd trust you with my life. I have for two years, and even after the shooting and what happened with Wilkes, I still would. I'd… I'd even trust you with Noah's life."

Nick sat in stunned silence. He looked at his feet and opened his mouth again and again, only to close it each time. "…Do you really mean that?"

For Olivia to say she trusted someone with the life that she tended to live semi-recklessly was one thing, but to trust someone with the most precious part of her existence, her son? Nick was flabbergasted at the confidence she displayed in him even when he didn't believe it himself.

"Of course." She answered softly. "I know things are hard right now, but I promise this isn't the end. You're a good cop, a good father… a good partner, whether we're working together or not."

"Thanks." Nick looked up at her and offered a half-smile. There were no tears, no monologue of him pouring out his feelings, no overt displays of emotion on his end, but Olivia knew they had reached a moment of clarity.

Finally.

"So, uh… you and Rollins, huh?" Olivia cocked her head and grinned at him, finally feeling confident and comfortable enough to being up the other topic they had come to discuss.

"Okay, let me have it. " Nick groaned, mentally preparing for Olivia to lay into him about his clandestine office relationship.

"Well, Nick, as you and others have so graciously reminded over the past few weeks, I really don't have much room to talk. You and Munch caught on to my, ah, dirty little secret once upon a time."

Nick raised his eyebrows, surprised that she wasn't going to offer any more resistance. "We never meant for it to turn into anything. It started off as drinks after a shitty case and me driving her home, and somewhere after the shooting and the gambling... it became something more."

Nick's open admission caused Olivia to reflect back on her time with Brian Cassidy. It, too, had started off innocently. An invitation to a bar for a business exchange turned friendly catch-up. An alcoholic overindulgence and his insistence that he make sure she got home safely. An accepted offer for an innocent nightcap, cascading to a repeat of their night together thirteen years prior. An interrupted chance for a morning after conversation of clarification when Olivia had received a panicked phone call from Captain Cragen. A conspiracy that ended with Brian nearly losing his life right in front of her eyes, an emotional hospital reunion, and a stunning realization that this was more to her than another drunken one night stand.

She never would have expected it, but they found each other when they needed it most. And now, it was time to bury the hatchet and offer the same grace that Nick had eventually shown her.

Olivia sighed. "I'll admit it's a little bit of a shock, but you deserve some happiness. And if Amanda makes you happy, then I'm happy for you." She finally said.

Nick looked back at her, a myriad of emotions crossing his face. Shock, to confusion, and finally to realized thankfulness. "You do too, Liv. I'm glad you've finally found it with Noah."

"So… are we okay?" Olivia ventured to ask.

"As long as you don't bust my girlfriend's chops too badly, I think we will be." Nick said with a laugh. _His girlfriend. _It was the first time those words had ever left his mouth, and they felt good on his lips.

"It's a deal. And Nick, I want you to know, as soon as 1-PP and IAB give their approval, I do want you back at SVU. I am actively negotiating for it. You'll have to jump through all of their hoops, and you'll be on desk duty for awhile, but if you can just be patient, we'll get there."

"Thanks, Liv. I promise, I'm not going to let you down."

"You're my partner… for better or worse." Olivia hugged Nick and repeated the same words that another partner of hers had spoken to her fifteen years earlier when he was probing her for information about her relationship with Cassidy. Those words proved to be meaningless, but this time… this time she couldn't have meant it more.

Later that night, Olivia changed Noah into his PJ's and settled onto the couch with his bedtime bottle. As she propped her feet up on the coffee table, she noticed the package that Nick had left behind. It had been all but forgotten after their reconciliation.

She slid her fingernail under the seal, opening it to pull out a worn hardback book. A message scrawled in Munch's distinct handwriting was taped onto the front : _"A promise is a promise." _She peeled the note off and simultaneously laughed and rolled her eyes when she noticed the title.

She propped Noah and his bottle against one arm while she opened the book to the first page with the other. "Blame your Uncle Munch for this one… " She looked down at the baby in her arms and prefaced his bedtime story with an apology before beginning to read him to sleep.

_"__For almost fifty years, general surveys of the American public has shown that a vast number of citizens believe that John F. Kennedy was killed as a result of a conspiracy..."_

* * *

**THE END!**

**I hope you guys have enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it, and that you feel I did the ending justice. If the last paragraph is a little confusing, I direct you back to chapter 6 :)**

If you have followed and enjoyed this story, I would appreciate you leaving your final reviews and comments. And don't forget to check out my current story, Remission (A Long, Strange Trip) when you have a chance! 

**Thanks guys!**


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